Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
