I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
