He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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