I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
