that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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