I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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