also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
