you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
