I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
