You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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