After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
