My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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