I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
