Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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