That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
