that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
