OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
So. Much. Porn.
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