He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Ladies don't puke and tell
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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