is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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