the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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