Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
