broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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