theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
did i just pee glitter
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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