I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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