Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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