Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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