An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
