She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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