ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
