nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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