Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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