Do you still have your period?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Randomize
