I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon