it hurts more in the daytime
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
