he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS