let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Your penis caused this!
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