i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
