I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
