i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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