I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize