It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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