tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
