Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
