Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
