I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
