Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
