Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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