you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
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Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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