sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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