marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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