I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
