do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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