Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
