I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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