There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
