I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
