Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
