It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Randomize
