I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize