i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize