that's an acceptable place to lick
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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