Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize