"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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