that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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