paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
