hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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