Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
