Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I looked at my own cervix.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
